It’s been a funny old week this last week. It’s had its ups and downs, not helped by feeling utterly awful with yet another cold.
Since the girls moved away I’ve pretty much spoken to them every single day. Not bad when you consider that was over three and half years ago now, three months of which I was walking up the country.
Over that period there have been a lot of times where the girls just haven’t been into speaking with me; they’ve been distracted or just really didn’t want to talk. Those days are hard. I’ve tried to work through those tough times but lately things seemed to have gotten worse and it really was beginning to upset me.
I thought long and hard about what could/should be done, ultimately coming to the very hard decision that I couldn’t phone the girls every day any longer. Instead of phoning every day I decided to only have a Skype call with them on a Wednesday and then a phone call on a Sunday on the weekends they weren’t with me.
I let their mum know what I was intending on doing, and why, and after an email conversation on the matter we agreed to the girls and me having a Skype call on a Wednesday and a Sunday when they aren’t with me.
As you can imagine, this was no easy decision to make, but it’s been just over a week now since I spoke to the girls about this and it [so far] seems to be going okay.
The Skype calls with the girls are always more engaged than phone calls. Seeing each other face to face really does help, and I love listening to the girls read me books, something that’s become a regular thing on our Skype calls for quite some time now. Not only that, but by having two Skype calls with the girls I actually get more time talking/interacting with them than I used to get phoning them every day, which can only be a good thing.
After coming to this decision I sent both Alice and Elisa an email explaining what it was all about – not blaming them of course – and I made it very clear that if they wanted to speak to me at any time then they could by letting their mum know so we could sort it out.
It’s taken a while for me to get used to not reaching for the phone at 6pm every day, and to not hearing my girls’ voices every day, but I’m getting there. I guess we’ll see whether or not it was the “right” choice as time goes by won’t we?