I can’t actually remember the last Mother’s Day I spent with mum; is that bad? It feels bad. I should remember these things. I should remember far more than I do about mum, and dad.
Mother’s Day isn’t a universally joyous holiday. For those of us whose mothers are no longer with us the holiday can be difficult.
I feel the sting of loss each time a holiday approaches, whether that be Birthdays, Christmas…it doesn’t really matter. Holidays have been tinged with bitter-sweet longing.
Getting through Mother’s Day, however, isn’t as difficult as getting through the days leading up to the holiday. People attach more meaning and value to these special days, but the reality is every day can be a hard day when you’ve not got that person around any more.
Although Mother’s Day is one where I can’t help but feel her loss, the times I miss mum most are during the highs and lows of my life, especially when Alice and Elisa reach big milestones like learning how to read.
I miss her encouragement, urging me on when I’m not sure or I have doubts. I’m sad when I think that the girls don’t have her there to congratulate them and to encourage them too.
They both still speak about Grandma; Alice mainly. Elisa was a little too young to remember much, but I try to keep alive her memory with them.
Anyway, happy Mother’s Day mum. Miss you always.
A day just for her,
For flowers and chocolates.
But she is not here.